From Minor Chords to Major Moves: Composing a Life of Joy
The notes of my past may linger, but it’s the melody I choose to play now that defines my song.
The Soundtrack of Growth: Remixing Patterns of Life
Have you ever felt like life was stuck on repeat? Like the same old song keeps playing, and no matter how many times you skip it, it just keeps coming back?
That’s how I’ve been feeling lately—caught in a loop of patterns that no longer serve me.
Some of the patterns in my life leave me feeling like I’m stuck in an elevator to nowhere, waiting patiently for a floor that will never come while listening to the soft, bland, unremarkable muzak playing endlessly on loop.
Luckily, I’ve been here before and know how to remix those patterns and create a song for my life that I can’t help but belt out at the top of my lungs.
So—let’s talk about breaking the loops, building new rhythms, and composing a soundtrack for a more fulfilling life.
Life in Loops: Repeating The Same Old Playlist
Life is full of patterns. Some of them are comforting, like a favorite song that brings back good memories. Others, well, they’re more like those songs that get stuck in your head—no matter how hard you try to get them out, they just keep looping in your brain.
For a long time, I didn’t even notice the patterns in my life.
They were like the elevator music on loop in my endless ascent to nowhere—always playing in the background, not really disturbing me, but not doing anything to help either.
I was stuck on repeat, following the same routines, making the same choices, and feeling the same frustrations.
These patterns—things like self-sabotage, staying in toxic relationships, and people-pleasing—were playing out like a song in a minor key.
It was familiar, but it didn’t bring me joy; rather, it created a sense of melancholy, where no matter how much I wanted my life to feel different, the same song kept playing.
Breaking the Beat: The Struggle to Change
Here’s the tricky part: breaking old patterns is not easy. It’s about as easy as trying to stop a vinyl record mid-spin without scratching the whole thing. Let’s just say it’s not a smooth process…
Change is messy.
Stumbling through it can feel like hitting all the wrong notes of your life’s song. There are moments where you’ll think, “Yep, I’ve got this,” and then—like clockwork—you’ll fall right back into the same old patterns.
But I’ve learned that stumbling is part of the process.
Before I could change, I first had to admit which patterns were no longer working for me. But, being brutally honest about what is working and what is not working is difficult at best.
Some of the old patterns were obvious—like saying yes to things I didn’t really want to do, or staying in toxic situations because I felt I had to, or putting my needs last out of fear of being not being accepted.
Others were sneakier and much more difficult to detect—like sabotaging my own happiness because it felt safer than standing up for myself or stepping outside of my comfort zone.
Breaking those old habits felt awkward and uncomfortable—kind of like trying to switch a song from a minor to major chord without missing a beat.
But to make my life to sound different, I had to find out what notes worked for me.
The Remix: Building New Patterns
The remix is the part where we get to start experimenting with new rhythms, new habits, and new ways of thinking.
It’s not about perfection (trust me, I’ve stumbled over plenty of chords along the way), but it is about finding the right melody that feels more authentic, more us.
I asked myself, “What kind of song do I want my life to sound like?” and started small—choosing one or two patterns to change at a time. Then I began making choices that brought me closer to that vision.
Whether it was setting better boundaries, letting go of relationships that didn’t serve me, or simply giving myself permission to enjoy the good things in life without feeling guilty, I started creating a soundtrack that made me want to dance to the music my new choices were creating.
There have been plenty of false starts, like hitting wrong notes while searching for the ones that truly harmonize with my song, but slowly, I’ve been building a life that I want to sing out loud—a life that brings me joy, purpose, and most importantly, peace.
The Playlist of Growth
I’ve realized that growth isn’t about rewriting my entire life’s playlist in one go—it’s about tweaking it, one song at a time.
Some patterns are going to stick around; they’re part of who we are deep down in our core—but they don’t have to be the main melody.
My life’s new playlist is filled with beautiful songs that make me want to dance, sing, and live my best life unapologetically.
Sure, there’s a note of nostalgia here and there, maybe even a few residual minor chords that remind me of where I’ve been.
But the overall sound is brighter, fuller, and more authentically me.
Sing It Loud, Sing It Proud
Growth is about creating a melody you’re proud of—one you can sing at the top of your lungs, without fear or shame.
It's not easy.
The remix can be messy, uncomfortable, and often frustrating. But when you finally find your rhythm—and the patterns you’ve worked so hard to change begin to transform into the song you’ve always wanted—it’s worth every missed beat along the way.
Deep Dive Into Minor Chord Patterns
The patterns that lead to the “melancholy songs” in life are often rooted in habits, beliefs, and relationships that create emotional dissonance or leave us feeling unfulfilled.
These patterns can be subtle or deeply ingrained, and they play out like recurring themes that tug us into a minor key.
These patterns often lead to feelings of melancholy because they keep us trapped in cycles that prevent growth, fulfillment, and joy.
Breaking these patterns is like shifting from a minor key to a major one, allowing the song of your life to become more upbeat, vibrant, and true to who you really are.
Here are some examples:
1. Self-Sabotage
How It Plays Out: Repeatedly undermining your own progress or happiness, whether through procrastination, negative self-talk, or giving up on goals when things get tough.
The Melancholy Effect: This pattern leaves a lingering sense of regret and unworthiness, like a song that never quite resolves into something hopeful.
2. Unhealthy Relationships
How It Plays Out: Staying in toxic or unbalanced relationships where you’re undervalued, mistreated, or emotionally drained.
The Melancholy Effect: These relationships create emotional weight, much like a song stuck in a sad, unresolved chord. They can lead to feelings of isolation, resentment, or heartache.
3. People-Pleasing
How It Plays Out: Constantly prioritizing others' needs at the expense of your own, fearing rejection or disapproval if you assert yourself.
The Melancholy Effect: This pattern can lead to a life that feels out of tune with your true desires, where your own voice gets drowned out by the expectations of others.
4. Fear of Change
How It Plays Out: Avoiding risks, new opportunities, or change out of fear of failure or the unknown. You stay in your comfort zone, even when it no longer serves you.
The Melancholy Effect: Life becomes predictable and stagnant, like a repetitive, minor-key melody that never crescendos into something vibrant. You may feel trapped, knowing there’s more out there but unable to reach it.
5. Negative Self-Talk
How It Plays Out: Telling yourself you’re not good enough, smart enough, or deserving of happiness. This inner dialogue creates an ongoing sense of inadequacy.
The Melancholy Effect: It’s like the emotional equivalent of playing sad, dissonant notes over and over, drowning out any chance for harmony or joy.
6. Living in the Past
How It Plays Out: Focusing on past mistakes, losses, or missed opportunities, and allowing those memories to define your present.
The Melancholy Effect: It’s like a song that plays old, unresolved notes, keeping you stuck in feelings of nostalgia, regret, or sadness.
7. Lack of Boundaries
How It Plays Out: Allowing others to dictate your time, energy, or emotions because you struggle to set or enforce personal boundaries.
The Melancholy Effect: This leads to emotional exhaustion, where your own needs are drowned out by the demands of others, like a song where the harmony is off balance.
8. Avoidance of Emotions
How It Plays Out: Numbing difficult emotions through distractions like overeating, excessive screen time, or other habits that prevent you from facing what’s really going on.
The Melancholy Effect: It’s like turning the volume down on the emotional song of your life, where the important notes of joy and fulfillment can’t be heard over the noise of avoidance.
9. Chasing External Validation
How It Plays Out: Constantly seeking approval, praise, or recognition from others to feel worthy, often at the expense of being true to yourself.
The Melancholy Effect: This pattern creates a life that’s out of sync with your authentic self, like a song written to please someone else’s tastes instead of your own. It often leads to feelings of emptiness and dissatisfaction.
10. Perfectionism
How It Plays Out: Holding yourself to impossible standards, where nothing you do feels good enough. You’re constantly striving for flawlessness, even when it’s unattainable.
The Melancholy Effect: This pattern can make life feel rigid, like a song that’s overly controlled and never allowed to flow naturally. It creates stress and self-criticism instead of allowing for joy or spontaneity.
Deep Dive Into Major Chord Patterns
Now, let’s explore the patterns that make up a “major chord” in life—those habits, mindsets, and relationships that bring fulfillment, joy, and harmony.
These are the elements that shift your life into a more upbeat, uplifting, and empowered place, much like how a major chord brings brightness and resolution to a song. They help create a life where you feel empowered, engaged, and connected to your true self.
Like a well-composed song, these patterns combine to form a melody that’s uplifting and vibrant—one that resonates deeply with who you are and where you’re going.
1. Self-Love and Compassion
How It Plays Out: Treating yourself with kindness, embracing your imperfections, and prioritizing your well-being. You forgive yourself for mistakes and recognize your inherent worth.
The Major Chord Effect: This pattern builds the foundation for emotional resilience and joy, like the bright root note in a major chord that grounds and uplifts everything else.
2. Healthy Boundaries
How It Plays Out: Knowing your limits and respectfully enforcing them, whether in relationships, at work, or with yourself. You make space for what matters by protecting your energy.
The Major Chord Effect: This creates balance in your life, giving you the freedom to invest in what nourishes you and discard what drains you—just like a balanced harmony in a major chord.
3. Authentic Self-Expression
How It Plays Out: Living in alignment with your true self—whether that’s through your career, relationships, or creative outlets. You express your thoughts, feelings, and desires honestly.
The Major Chord Effect: When you live authentically, you resonate with the world around you, like the clear, confident tone of a major chord ringing true.
4. Growth Mindset
How It Plays Out: You see challenges as opportunities to learn and improve. Instead of being discouraged by failure, you embrace it as part of the process and keep moving forward.
The Major Chord Effect: This creates an upward trajectory in your life, like a melody that resolves positively, turning difficult experiences into lessons and growth.
5. Gratitude and Appreciation
How It Plays Out: Practicing gratitude daily by noticing the small and big things you’re thankful for. You appreciate the present moment instead of constantly striving for more or focusing on what’s lacking.
The Major Chord Effect: Gratitude brightens your perspective, much like how the uplifting tones of a major chord can lift your mood and shift the emotional energy of a song.
6. Mutual, Healthy Relationships
How It Plays Out: Building relationships that are based on mutual respect, trust, and support. You surround yourself with people who uplift and inspire you, while also contributing to their well-being.
The Major Chord Effect: These relationships create harmony in your life, just like the way notes in a major chord support and elevate each other, making everything sound richer and more complete.
7. Purpose and Passion
How It Plays Out: Aligning your life with your passions, whether through work, hobbies, or causes that matter to you. You wake up with a sense of purpose, knowing your actions are meaningful.
The Major Chord Effect: Purpose gives your life a sense of direction and fulfillment, like a well-composed melody that lifts and energizes, keeping you motivated and aligned with what matters.
8. Mindfulness and Presence
How It Plays Out: Being fully present in the moment instead of getting caught up in the past or worrying about the future. You savor experiences, practice awareness, and engage deeply with life.
The Major Chord Effect: Mindfulness brings a sense of peace and clarity, much like the crisp and clear notes in a major chord that bring focus and harmony to a song.
9. Emotional Resilience
How It Plays Out: Cultivating the ability to bounce back from setbacks, keeping a balanced perspective through challenges, and maintaining a sense of hope. You don’t avoid difficult emotions, but you navigate them with strength and grace.
The Major Chord Effect: Resilience helps you move through life’s dissonance, much like a major chord resolves tension in music, creating a sense of completion and optimism.
10. Curiosity and Openness
How It Plays Out: Approaching life with curiosity and a willingness to explore new ideas, experiences, and perspectives. You keep an open mind and embrace the unknown instead of fearing it.
The Major Chord Effect: Curiosity leads to expansion and discovery, much like the progression of a song that opens up new possibilities with each bright, new chord.
11. Balance and Self-Care
How It Plays Out: Creating a healthy balance between work, rest, and play. You prioritize taking care of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being, knowing that you need to recharge to thrive.
The Major Chord Effect: Balance gives you sustained energy and contentment, like the steady rhythm that keeps a song moving forward in harmony.
12. Letting Go of Control
How It Plays Out: Accepting that not everything is within your control, and finding peace in uncertainty. You focus on what you can influence and release the rest with grace.
The Major Chord Effect: Letting go allows life to flow naturally, much like a song that moves smoothly without forced transitions, creating space for spontaneity and ease.
Remember, growth isn’t about perfect harmony from the start—it’s about embracing the process, the stumbles, and the unexpected notes. As you continue to remix the patterns of your life, trust that each shift brings you closer to a melody that feels authentically yours.
Sing your song boldly, knowing that the beauty of life lies not in perfection, but in the courage to create, to change, and to grow.